It s a shame I've been sitting on this book for about two years now. A friend of mine gave me Never Eat Alone , by Keith Ferrazzi a couple years ago (thanks Rey), and it s been on my bookcase ever since. It was resting there not because I didn't want to read it, but because I already had so many others in the pipeline. I finally got around to reading it last month and I definitely recommend it. In very simple terms, Ferrazzi explains why networking is important and how to do it. From how to make call lists to planning dinners to personal branding to goal setting, it s all here. He also maintains a valuable blog .
Inevitably there will be times when you have setbacks or things don t go your way. Maybe you didn't get a job you thought you were sure to get. Maybe you lost a job unexpectedly, didn't win a contract, or lost a major client. Your car always seems to break down right after you've had some other unexpected expense. These kinds of situations immediately place us in crisis. They don t feel good, but sometimes they re what we need in order to grow. The beautiful thing about crises is that they force us to take a step back and reevaluate what s going on in our lives and rediscover what we truly want and need. When we get over that initial shock and feeling of disappointment, we might realize that maybe that job wasn't really the best for us anyway. Maybe, just maybe, that wasn't what you really wanted to spend your life doing. Maybe that friend was holding you back instead of pushing you forward. The way I deal with crises of these sorts is simple: If something doesn't go my way professionally, I try to create a situation that would be more rewarding than the situation originally planned. A while ago, I was offered a job that looked very promising. After I accepted the offer, they pushed the start date back three times, later informing me (via e-mail) that they wanted to bring me on in the near future but I should feel free to explore other options. I was extremely disappointed. I felt disrespected and angry, but decided to make the best of the situation and follow my dream of working internationally. I then flew to Santiago, Chile and had great professional and personal experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise. Later, reflecting back on the original opportunity, I realized that working for a company that avoids a start date three times and then can t pick up the phone to explain the situation is probably not where I need to spend my time. Use setbacks as an opportunity to put your goals in order and act on them. In the moment, it s difficult to look at a setback as temporary, but they are. They happen to everybody. It s how you respond to them that will determine how they affect you.
I like to be fully aware of how effective my blog is. I want to know what content is popular, what isn't, where my traffic is coming from, how long they stay at the site, the path people take, where they enter, and where they leave. There's much more to look at besides the number of unique visitors there are. I make adjustments all the time (regarding both content and design) to make the experience as pleasant for my community as possible. I routinely look at Google Analytics to check out what content is popular and try to do my best to figure out why. Was it a picture that people found particularly interesting? Was it, perhaps, a certain phrase or comment? I often find that the stuff I think will be the least popular turns out to be the most popular. For example, I don’t often share much about my emotional self. I typically write about media, marketing, and business. By providing tools, analyses, and news, I hope to provide value to the people who visit my website. However, many of most popular pieces are there ones where I share a little insight into my inner workings.
Analytics is not just science
I also find it important to know what browsers people are using to access my website. Are they on mobile devices? If so, which ones? Is the content optimized for the platform my visitors are using? The list goes on, but the key here is to be intentional with your KPI's (key performance indicators). Try to figure out what you're actually trying to measure. People are people, not numbers, so try to go beyond the typical metrics that measure simple things. Instead, use these numbers to build a story. Don't think, "How can I increase time on my site by 20%?" Think, "How can I make the content more engaging, more interesting so that people are compelled to spend more time here?" Think, "Perhaps the time is short because they're reading from their cell phones and the average person switches where they focus their attention constantly. How can I optimize this portion of the experience?"
“Try to figure out what you’re actually trying to measure. People are people, not numbers, so try to go beyond the typical metrics that measure simple things. Instead, use these numbers to build a story.”
I don’t base my writing off of keywords. I’m not concerned with growing a huge "audience" based on manipulating trends. However, what is interesting about keywords and terms, is that they provide me with insight about how people find my page and helps me understand my connection with the outside world. I get a lot of traffic from people wanting to learn about socially responsible marketing, communications, and leadership. But I also get much of my traffic from people searching for the names of the people I interview, services I provide, and even me. This lets me know that I engage with a varied community. There are those who consume the content I create. And there are those who engage with the content I create, and in doing so, with me.
Inner and Outer Circles
There are people who know me and people who know of me. The people who know me consist of friends, family, classmates, and colleagues. This inner circle, are the people who respond to my more reflective posts. When I write about how I’m feelings and what I’m doing, they’re the ones that provide congratulations, condolences, encouragement, advice, or pick up the phone and give me a call. The people who know of me are those who download the ebooks and other resources I post. They are the ones who often forward and share my posts. Recently I a spoke with a sculptor/artist/activist who emailed me from Spokane, Washington. We had a good conversation about the inspiration behind her work, how she chose that specific medium, and what her goals are with her various projects. When I asked how she found me, she said, “I don’t know, I think a friend forwarded me your Facebook link and said that you were forward thinking.”
The decision to create just one blog
This distinction between inner circles and outer circles, weak links and strong links caused me much stress when I first started blogging. How should I break up my writing? Should I have two blogs—one for my “professional” topics and one for my “personal” topics? At the end of the day, I decided to maintain just one. The way I see it, I’m am who I am. Several years ago, it might have been much easier to maintain multiple personas—multiple identities. However, with the adoption social media and digital technologies, it is becoming increasingly difficult to separate one’s various lives. For example, it’s much more difficult to have one identity at work, a completely different identity among friends, and yet another completely different identity at home without losing authenticity and credibility. Sure your behavior will change based on context, but your essence more or less remains the same. I decided that I would write, record, draw, etc., the things that are relevant at the time, whether the topic is internal or external. When I made this decision, I declared that you would be getting me. Like it or love it, love it or hate it, what you see is what you get.
This was liberating for me. No longer did I have to think, “Where does this blog post belong,” but rather, how can I put my most authentic self into this work? How can I provide the absolute most value for the time and effort the community puts into consuming and engaging with my (and our) work. For me, it’s not enough to tell you I like an application. I want you to have the information you need to make an informed decision. I don’t want to just broadcast news and events. I want you to know how you too can become involved. In a sense, it doesn’t matter to me if you know me or know of me. For whatever reason, you found your way here. And while you’re here, I want your stay to be as pleasant as possible. Thank you for your time.
Until next time…Peace.
Today, I read Showing Your Appreciation to Facebook Friends - 9 Ideas by Mike Brown. In it, he describes how to go beyond the typical “liking” method on Facebook to show more thought and appreciation for the people in your social network. According to him, the moral of the story here is that “social media is about being social.” When I read that blog post, I thought, “We spend so much time now thinking about social media and the social web, we often neglect ways to connect offline.” After all, the social web is intended to better allow us to connect with each other. So with that, here are 7 ways to make people feel special offline.
1. Pick up the phone
Social media is very good at keeping us informed of life changes. Facebook tells us when it’s someone's birthday, if they change their relationship status, etc. LinkedIn sends us updates when somebody changes jobs or receives a new credential. RSS feeds allow us to know when people and organizations post updates. When you notice something important about someone you care about, go beyond the “like” or “share” and pick up the phone. Verbally express your appreciation, condolences, or happiness. It’s a great way to have personal contact and it will make the other person feel like a real person.
2. Write a card
Although postage is ever-increasing, there’s still something to be said about taking the time to hand write a card. You don’t have to wait for a holiday or life event. If somebody has been on your mind, send a quick “just because” card. I make it a personal goal to recognize at least one person each week who has made some kind of positive impact in my life by sending them a card.
3. Write a note
Notes are different than cards. A note is simply a few words or a couple of sentences that communicates a specific message for various occasions. An example of a note is, “Thank you for introducing me to Michael. As you suggested, we did enjoy our lunch and I appreciate the connection. Just thought I’d let you know.”
4. Send a newspaper or magazine clipping, or a picture
Have you ever been reading the newspaper or a magazine and thought, “Oh you know who would love this? My friend Jamie would love this article.” Sure, you can email them a link to the clipping. And there is nothing wrong with doing that. But it’s sometimes fun to receive a highlighted couple of lines that reminded that person of you. Also, if you come across an old picture, send a copy of that. The other day I received a picture message from a neighbor back home of a note she found when cleaning out her (now adult) school stuff.
5. Surprise them with an inexpensive gift
When I moved to Seattle, one of my friends sent me a zebra print ice scraper as a gag gift. Although zebra print isn’t really my style, the thought made me feel special (and it did come in handy during the winter). Chocolate bars, backed goods, fruit baskets, and gift cards also make good gifts. Just keep the person you're sending it to in mind.
6. Create an offline event.
About a year ago when I was still living in San Antonio, I realized that I hadn't seen any of the tourist spots. I took the place for granted because I lived there. “I can always see the Alamo,” I’d tell myself. After talking with friends we found that many of us thought the same way. So I created a series of events called Sunday Fundays in which we we would declare a touristy thing to do and later end up at one of our houses to unwind.
7. Connect your friends with other friends or colleagues
For me one of the ultimate signs of appreciation is connecting two people whom you respect greatly. Recently, just before making a trip out to portland, I received an email from Sally Bell addressed to both Graeme Byrd (@graemefbyrd) and me stating simply, “You too need to meet!” While in Portland, Graeme and I met up because of the respect and trust we both hold in Sally. And she was right—turned out to be a good connection.
So that’s seven offline ways to show your online community you appreciate them. I know this isn’t an exhaustive list. What would you add? How have you expressed or received offline appreciation?
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