It s a shame I've been sitting on this book for about two years now. A friend of mine gave me Never Eat Alone , by Keith Ferrazzi a couple years ago (thanks Rey), and it s been on my bookcase ever since. It was resting there not because I didn't want to read it, but because I already had so many others in the pipeline. I finally got around to reading it last month and I definitely recommend it. In very simple terms, Ferrazzi explains why networking is important and how to do it. From how to make call lists to planning dinners to personal branding to goal setting, it s all here. He also maintains a valuable blog .
Inevitably there will be times when you have setbacks or things don t go your way. Maybe you didn't get a job you thought you were sure to get. Maybe you lost a job unexpectedly, didn't win a contract, or lost a major client. Your car always seems to break down right after you've had some other unexpected expense. These kinds of situations immediately place us in crisis. They don t feel good, but sometimes they re what we need in order to grow. The beautiful thing about crises is that they force us to take a step back and reevaluate what s going on in our lives and rediscover what we truly want and need. When we get over that initial shock and feeling of disappointment, we might realize that maybe that job wasn't really the best for us anyway. Maybe, just maybe, that wasn't what you really wanted to spend your life doing. Maybe that friend was holding you back instead of pushing you forward. The way I deal with crises of these sorts is simple: If something doesn't go my way professionally, I try to create a situation that would be more rewarding than the situation originally planned. A while ago, I was offered a job that looked very promising. After I accepted the offer, they pushed the start date back three times, later informing me (via e-mail) that they wanted to bring me on in the near future but I should feel free to explore other options. I was extremely disappointed. I felt disrespected and angry, but decided to make the best of the situation and follow my dream of working internationally. I then flew to Santiago, Chile and had great professional and personal experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise. Later, reflecting back on the original opportunity, I realized that working for a company that avoids a start date three times and then can t pick up the phone to explain the situation is probably not where I need to spend my time. Use setbacks as an opportunity to put your goals in order and act on them. In the moment, it s difficult to look at a setback as temporary, but they are. They happen to everybody. It s how you respond to them that will determine how they affect you.
I listened to Thandie Newton give her TED talk Embracing Otherness, Embracing Myself this weekend. What I found most appealing about this talk is that Newton is able to express and celebrate belonging and connectedness without preaching how we’re all the same. She doesn’t dismiss the idea of uniqueness and being different. Rather she talks about how, through understanding of how we connect to each other, the earth, the spiritual, the world—that we come to find a higher sense of being. Definitely worth the 14 minutes it’ll take to watch this video. Give yourself an hour if you’d like for it to really sink in and allow you time to reflect. Her personal story is extremely powerful.
I’m very glad I went. After going to several conferences this one was one of the most powerful ones I’ve ever attended. It was refreshing to hear the voices of so many who are often silenced or ignored. The ideas (and plans/tools for implementation) of true collaboration, identifying your essence, using business to find fulfillment, looking at the triple bottom line, and solving complex business and societal problems was a testament to the importance of diversity in all of its forms. By engaging in diverse conversations we are able to identify, analyze, and solve problems in socially, economic, and environmentally responsible ways not otherwise possible. What some call “sustainable” I call, “the only way to go about business.”
As one of four men who attended this conference, I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to gain insight into the professional world of women. As a student of sociology, I have researched the Barbie Doll Complex, The Glass Ceiling Effect, and other social norms and hegemonic institutions that have not only oppressed women, but everyone. I, for one, feel that if any ONE person is oppressed, then we are ALL oppressed—denied the opportunity to live our lives in a truly authentic way because of the fear of social and/or physical repercussions. Throughout this experience, I was completely welcomed into the community, and not once did I feel alien. For me, this conference is important not because it is about women in business, but because it is about people in business. At the end of the day, I was surrounded by 150 other people who want to use business as a tool to promote positive change in the world and live in a way that serves themselves and others.