It s a shame I've been sitting on this book for about two years now. A friend of mine gave me Never Eat Alone , by Keith Ferrazzi a couple years ago (thanks Rey), and it s been on my bookcase ever since. It was resting there not because I didn't want to read it, but because I already had so many others in the pipeline. I finally got around to reading it last month and I definitely recommend it. In very simple terms, Ferrazzi explains why networking is important and how to do it. From how to make call lists to planning dinners to personal branding to goal setting, it s all here. He also maintains a valuable blog .
Inevitably there will be times when you have setbacks or things don t go your way. Maybe you didn't get a job you thought you were sure to get. Maybe you lost a job unexpectedly, didn't win a contract, or lost a major client. Your car always seems to break down right after you've had some other unexpected expense. These kinds of situations immediately place us in crisis. They don t feel good, but sometimes they re what we need in order to grow. The beautiful thing about crises is that they force us to take a step back and reevaluate what s going on in our lives and rediscover what we truly want and need. When we get over that initial shock and feeling of disappointment, we might realize that maybe that job wasn't really the best for us anyway. Maybe, just maybe, that wasn't what you really wanted to spend your life doing. Maybe that friend was holding you back instead of pushing you forward. The way I deal with crises of these sorts is simple: If something doesn't go my way professionally, I try to create a situation that would be more rewarding than the situation originally planned. A while ago, I was offered a job that looked very promising. After I accepted the offer, they pushed the start date back three times, later informing me (via e-mail) that they wanted to bring me on in the near future but I should feel free to explore other options. I was extremely disappointed. I felt disrespected and angry, but decided to make the best of the situation and follow my dream of working internationally. I then flew to Santiago, Chile and had great professional and personal experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise. Later, reflecting back on the original opportunity, I realized that working for a company that avoids a start date three times and then can t pick up the phone to explain the situation is probably not where I need to spend my time. Use setbacks as an opportunity to put your goals in order and act on them. In the moment, it s difficult to look at a setback as temporary, but they are. They happen to everybody. It s how you respond to them that will determine how they affect you.
Human beings learn an extraordinary amount from each other. Often our behavior is a result of how we respond to others. When trying to influence behavior, we often resort to verbal and/or written requests and demands. Social psychologist Albert Bandura was one of the first people to prove that we learn from modeled behavior. Modeling a desired behavior is much more effective than telling somebody what to do. Whether it be in the workplace, in the home, or in the greater public, setting the example by doing will command much more credibility and respect, leading to greater influence. Below is the famous video footage of the experiment by Albert Bandura showing how children model behavior.
I was alarmed today when in my inbox I received an email from the National Marriage Boycott, alerting us that there has been a dramatic increase in the number of suicides in the news among the LGTB community:
NMB is deeply affected by the alarming number of LGBT Youth suicides in the news. Our hearts go out to all of the affected friends and families. Since its beginning, NMB has remained committed to raising awareness about LGBT youth suicide and other issues that affect youth.
As the only youth-led national queer rights organization, we particularly feel the loss of these youth — they are our peers and our friends. This is why we organize NMB branches in high schools and colleges. Students who wear Equality Rings in schools show their peers that they support LGBT equality. This small symbol of support means so much for questioning and closeted youth who are insecure about their identities. This ring shows these youth that we care.
We organize for full federal marriage equality because we believe that by legalizing same-sex marriage, youth across the country will see LGBT relationships recognized by their government and communities. This visibility and recognition is crucial for struggling youth. These relationships will provide positive examples of LGBT identities and relationships that will show youth that being LGBT is okay.
Now, more than ever, it’s important for you to get involved with NMB. Show your support for LGBT youth and marriage equality by setting up an NMB branch in your school or region or making a donation to our organization. Also, learn more about NMB’s youth LGBT suicide campaign, ‘Speak for the Forgotten’ and see what NMB is doing to address LGBT youth suicide. Finally, consider posting a video for the ‘It Gets Better’ Campaign or the ‘Make it Better’ Campaign to show LGBTQ youth that they really do have a future.
After watching some of the videos from the It Gets Better Project, one will realize that the trauma young people suffer is not limited to one group, but is widespread. If you have gone though difficulties, and have a story to share, I encourage you go get involved, sign the pledge, and/or donate to this project.