It s a shame I've been sitting on this book for about two years now. A friend of mine gave me Never Eat Alone , by Keith Ferrazzi a couple years ago (thanks Rey), and it s been on my bookcase ever since. It was resting there not because I didn't want to read it, but because I already had so many others in the pipeline. I finally got around to reading it last month and I definitely recommend it. In very simple terms, Ferrazzi explains why networking is important and how to do it. From how to make call lists to planning dinners to personal branding to goal setting, it s all here. He also maintains a valuable blog .
Inevitably there will be times when you have setbacks or things don t go your way. Maybe you didn't get a job you thought you were sure to get. Maybe you lost a job unexpectedly, didn't win a contract, or lost a major client. Your car always seems to break down right after you've had some other unexpected expense. These kinds of situations immediately place us in crisis. They don t feel good, but sometimes they re what we need in order to grow. The beautiful thing about crises is that they force us to take a step back and reevaluate what s going on in our lives and rediscover what we truly want and need. When we get over that initial shock and feeling of disappointment, we might realize that maybe that job wasn't really the best for us anyway. Maybe, just maybe, that wasn't what you really wanted to spend your life doing. Maybe that friend was holding you back instead of pushing you forward. The way I deal with crises of these sorts is simple: If something doesn't go my way professionally, I try to create a situation that would be more rewarding than the situation originally planned. A while ago, I was offered a job that looked very promising. After I accepted the offer, they pushed the start date back three times, later informing me (via e-mail) that they wanted to bring me on in the near future but I should feel free to explore other options. I was extremely disappointed. I felt disrespected and angry, but decided to make the best of the situation and follow my dream of working internationally. I then flew to Santiago, Chile and had great professional and personal experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise. Later, reflecting back on the original opportunity, I realized that working for a company that avoids a start date three times and then can t pick up the phone to explain the situation is probably not where I need to spend my time. Use setbacks as an opportunity to put your goals in order and act on them. In the moment, it s difficult to look at a setback as temporary, but they are. They happen to everybody. It s how you respond to them that will determine how they affect you.
Sometimes we get so caught up in looking to experts, industry leaders, and heroes for inspiration and lessons we often forget to look around us. We love the drama of tremendous struggle and triumphant success. There’s something about the “defying all odds” story that keeps us intrigued. While there’s nothing wrong with looking up to aspirational characters, focusing entirely on these figures causes us to forget that we can learn from those around us.
Everyday the people in our own circles are going through adversity or reaching accomplishments. Each of of these people has a story to tell—a story from which we can grow and learn. Are you listening?
Last week, I had a conversation with a few friends I haven’t seen in a while. We talked about what we’ve been up to and the goals we had in the near term. One explained that she had a well-paying job, but decided to leave it because she wasn’t feeling fulfilled, instead opting for something where she could positively impact others. That’s the kind of story that keeps me motivated to do what I do. There are several leaders I look up to, but more and more are emerging from the circle with which I’m already familiar.
I have friends, teachers, professors, coworkers, strangers, clients, and associates that continue to challenge me and force me to think of things from various perspectives. These are the people that make me want to be better. Trying to keep my ears open to all of it is the challenge. Growing from it is the reward.